I heard an uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like 40$
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Uber driver: ........... Me: .......... Uber driver: .......... Me: 5 stars.
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user...Uber eats
Why did the twin towers go to uber eats? Because they wanted something plain.
Today sucked my girlfriend got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver
Your forhead is so fucking big, i had to call an Uber to get accros the eyebrowes tillyour hair line.
ik its bad sowy
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers. He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber.
I had to get from you forehead to your big ass nose
