Uber jokes
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
Community talk
Helloing everybodying! I am de Amir man myth legend. I doordashing people fooding for that $2 tipping (I can buy 1 lambo with that type of money in India) and I work in totally legit top notch quality call center. I very rich manning because I also working part timing as de Uber, 7-11 owner, and cooking curry and some of de other Indian foodings. I hoping you friends will accepting me to this community and having a blast!
Auferstanden aus Ruinen Und der Zukunft zugewandt Laß uns dir zum Guten dienen Deutschland, einig Vaterland
Alte Not gilt es zu zwingen Und wir zwingen sie vereint Denn es muß uns doch gelingen Daß die Sonne schön wie nie Über Deutschland scheint Über Deutschland scheint
Glück und Friede sei beschieden Deutschland, unserm Vaterland Alle Welt sehnt sich nach Frieden Reicht den Völkern eure Hand
Wenn wir brüderlich … Read more