Short jokes
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."