Short jokes
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.