Short jokes
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
My anxiety has anxiety.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...