Short jokes
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Umm, what joke should I make?
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.