She jokes
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!