She jokes

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

Dishwasher

Dishwasher

She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

Wife

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

Memes

Heart

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

Dentist

Dentist

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

Mum

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Mum

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Pledge

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

Nun

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Yo mama

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

Mama

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.