Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.
I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
