Sexuality jokes

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?

None of them are straight.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!

Robin's gay.

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

I like dick.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.

What do you call a vagina with teeth?

A vicious cunt.

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?

Bisexual.

British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.

Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.

Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.

A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."