Sexuality jokes

Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!

What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?

A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.

What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?

None of them are straight.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!

Robin's gay.

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

I like dick.