Sexuality jokes

I'm hertophobic -

aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.

Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.

Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?

Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liquor cabinet.

What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.

What’s another term for a lesbian?

A vagetarian.

I think one of my dads might be gay.

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?

gay now, heterosexual later.

Can I put my balls in your jaws?

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.