Sexuality

Sexuality jokes

Gay

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

Lesbian

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

Iraq

What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.

Lesbian

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

Difference

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

    One is glowing and the other is blowing.

    Lesbian

    What do renovators and lesbians have in common?

    They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.

    Furry

    I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

    Woman

    How do you stop a woman from choking?

    Back up an inch.

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  • Gay

    How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.

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  • Gay

    What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

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  • A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

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  • Kurt Cobain

    Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.

    That's why he married Courtney Love.

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  • There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

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  • Feminist

    Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.

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  • Priest

    Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

    Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

    He killed his mom and then fucked her.

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  • Catholic

    What is the best Catholic dating app?

    Grinder.

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