Sexuality

Sexuality jokes

Common

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

Swimsuit

Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Sex

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Lesbian

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

German

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

Difference

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Gay

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

Blind

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Gay

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

Similarity

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.