Sexuality jokes
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.