Sexuality jokes
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?
Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.
Jesus is gay, and God is transgender.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.