Sexuality jokes
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
I think one of my dads might be gay.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."