Sexuality jokes
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?