Sex jokes
I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.