Sex jokes
Hmmm.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
Why did the rapist not get sentenced?
Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Official orgasm donor.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What is black and blue and really hates sex? The six-year-old in my basement.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Want to have sex?
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"