Sex jokes
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
Penis and balls.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)