Sex jokes

Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.

One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.

Why did the rapist not get sentenced?

Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

penis.

I like penis.

There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?

That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!

There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”

Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”