Sex jokes

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?

Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"

You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?

An Oreo.