Sex

Sex jokes

Porn star

    • All-star gay mix

    Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

    Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

    So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

    Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

    It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

    The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

    Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

  • 2

    • House

    • Lady: I am going to come to your house.

    Man: Ok.

    An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

    Man: You are going to cum to my house!

    And then he fucks her.

  • 0

    • Teacher

    • My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

    Josh: Cookies.

    Jacob: My parents.

    Erika: My Friends!

    Brody: Lamborghinis.

    Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

    My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

    *Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

  • 1
    • Sex memes

    Fan

    • GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."

    Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"

    Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!

    Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!

  • 3

    • Year

    • What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

    One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

  • 1

    • Towel

    • Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

    The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

    Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

    After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

    Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

    Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

  • 0