Sex jokes
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
So 666-3629, so get it?
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Why was the egg runny? Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.