Sex jokes
Ouch!
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
F*ck me!
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."
I fucked your girl.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.