Sex jokes
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
Your penis is literally BLUE!
There are more than two genders.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."