Sex jokes
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Official orgasm donor.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!