Sex

Sex jokes

Kinky

  • What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

  • 2
  • Penis

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

  • 1
  • Hair

  • How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?

    He performs fellatio on them.

  • 0
  • Towel

  • Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

    The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

    Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

    After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

    Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

    Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

  • 0
  • Necrophilia

  • Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

    That's what happened to my dog.

  • 6
  • Boy

  • The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.