Sex jokes
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."