Sex jokes

Why did the rapist not get sentenced?

Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣

Where did daddy cum in the bed?...

Everywhere!

The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.

What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.

There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.

1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,

5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.

You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?

There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"