
Sex jokes
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Anal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
I have sex.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)
Zina: No! [Age] (10)
Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)
What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
