Sex jokes
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao?
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.