Sex jokes
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Me so horny! Me so horny!
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Nancy, the throat goat!
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?
Broken plates.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.