Sex jokes
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
Pussy, no pussy.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Swallow cum, not gum.