Sex

Sex jokes

Incest

  • When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

    Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

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  • Penis

  • My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

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  • Transportation

  • It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

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  • Dick

  • How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

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  • Priest

  • Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

    Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.

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  • Kid

  • A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

    The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

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  • Day

  • Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

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  • Parent

  • My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

    God

  • If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?