Sex jokes
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Ethan should give me an Australian kiss 🤭
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards…
Anal.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Chupa mi polla.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.
Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.
Why were the octopi sad?
Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.