Sex jokes
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
There are now only three genders: Male, female, and stupid!
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.