Sex jokes
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
My dick.
I suck big weiner.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.