Sex jokes
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Sex.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”