Sex jokes
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
penis balls cum <3
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
I like penis in my bum!
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.