Sex jokes
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.
Monke
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.
Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.
Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.
Nathan: WE-WE
Alicia: WEE-WEE?
Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes
Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u
Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*
Alicia: *WEIRD*
Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose
Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess
cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou
nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy
cuugh umm
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.