Sex jokes
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
penis balls cum <3
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Me so horny! Me so horny!
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Nancy, the throat goat!
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.