Sex

Sex jokes

Fat

    • Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

    "You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

    Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

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    • Sister

    • How do you know if your sister's on her period?

    Your dad's dick tastes funny.

    What's worse than fingering your sister?

    Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

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    • Sex memes

    Brojob

    • If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

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    • Cock

    • I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

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    • Emo

    • Why can’t an emo have sex?

    They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.

    Jesus

    • What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

    Depends on who's sucking.

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    • Incest

    • When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

    Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

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    • Barbie

    • Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

    A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

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    • Postman

    • Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

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