Sex jokes
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
Chupa mi polla.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
Big pp suck sook.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
So, no head?
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.