Sex

Sex jokes

Kid

    • A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

    The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"

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    • Pussy

    • Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

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    • Bastard

    • What's the definition of a bastard?

    Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

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    • Sex memes

    Pussy

    • There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

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    • Dick

    • My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

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    • Car

    • A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

    The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

    "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

    The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

    "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

    A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

    "Sure," said the little boy.

    The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

    "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

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    • Bus Driver

    • A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

    (Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

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    • Singer

    • After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"

    Condom

    • What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

    1. It stands for inflation.

    2. It limits production.

    3. It encourages cooperation.

    4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

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    • Blowjob

    • What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

    They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

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    • Rape

    • My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

    We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

    Rainbow

    • So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

    And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

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