Sex jokes
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.