Sex jokes
So, no head?
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Anal.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
Six shila.