Sex jokes
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!
Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"
#she is sex*
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
So, no head?
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Anal.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"