Sex jokes
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
What is black and blue and really hates sex? The six-year-old in my basement.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
Want to have sex?
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?