Sex jokes
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Just cum.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
I eat ass.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
F*ck me!
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Gwen pegs Xzavier.
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!