Sex jokes

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

Why did the two balls cross the road?

To get to the penis!

Sorry, too rude?

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.

Just cum.

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

Why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them.

Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.

It's women that make it hard.

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.