Sex jokes

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Eat my ass!

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

Official orgasm donor.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

Why did the two balls cross the road?

To get to the penis!

Sorry, too rude?

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

2 weeks here.

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.