Sex jokes

A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake."

The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

What's another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?

A doppelgangbang.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.