Sex jokes

Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?

A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

What's 72?

69 with 3 people watching.

What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳

inside 🚹 🚹 restroom

equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside

glory 🕳

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.

Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.

Incest.

When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.