Sex jokes
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
when you get back from summer break and your teacher is pregnant
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
you.
So, no head?
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool? An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"