Sex

Sex Jokes

Penis

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

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  • Pornography

    It was pornography class, and there was a break.

    Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

    Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

    Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

    Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

    Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    Teacher: Where's the D?

    Adult 2: Inside me...

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  • Woman

    Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?

    Daniel: Isn’t it the women?

    Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.

    Drug Dealer

    What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

    A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.

    Jesus

    What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

    Depends on who's sucking.

    Penis

    After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

    My penis.

    Partner

    When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

    Priest

    Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?

    Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.

    Dick

    How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

    His dick tastes funny...

    Cock

    Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

    Wife

    My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

    Hooker

    What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

    I haven’t banged a hooker.

    Woman

    What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

    Condom

    A guy and his girl just finished making love.

    Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

    The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

    Condom

    What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.