Sex jokes

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

I've been told I've got a perfect cock.

She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Where's the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?

Daniel: Isn’t it the women?

Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.

What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis.

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?

Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.

If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.