You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Okay, so basically, you smoothbrain, the dude is saying he's super straight. Like, so straight he's comparing himself to a stripper pole. But here's the kicker: it's *your* mom doing the dancing, implying he's banging your mom. Get it? It's funny 'cause it's messed up! You probably have no game, based on your sense of humor, though.