Sex jokes
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
Why was the egg runny? Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.