Sex jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
Why was the egg runny? Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
*funny joke about dicks*
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.