Sex jokes
I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
I just had sex.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Porn *sex noises*
I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD
PS free sex at my name
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?