Feet

Feet jokes

Tequila

    • A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

  • 33

    • Delta

    • What did Omnicron say to Delta?

    "Same race, bud, different evolution."

    "SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

    Paper Towel

    • Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

    Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

  • 1
    • Feet memes

    Friend

    • Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

    Nose

    • If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

    Girlfriend

    • I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."

    Skating

    • One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

    It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.