Sex jokes
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Big penis.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Dick sucking.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr