Sex jokes

I'm Gay.

Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.

*walks into sex shop*

Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.

Boy and girl.

Boys af sex wus ur girl?

Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

A: Because they like to come in a little behind.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.

Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.

What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?

Hair pull.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

Why can’t orphans have sex?

Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"