Sex jokes
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because he's a registered sex offender.
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.