Sex jokes
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"