Sex jokes

Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.

Not coming soon!

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Haha, you just saw sex!

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story!

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered sex offender.

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?

A dildo.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

What do gay horses eat?

Horse dick.

The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.