The 30+ Best Fence Jokes

A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence

Udder destruction

What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.

A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"

She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."

The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"

The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"

"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"

The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin wall

We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impeccable.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

fence 1 - was thinking and fence 2 - said are you still on the fence about runing away. Fence 1- said yeah i was thinking of running one the RAILROAD

what do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?

they blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.

Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

A: Udderly destroyed

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard. A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye. Moments later they start chanting 13...13...13...