Fence Jokes


A teacher asks a boy in her class “If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?” The boy responds with “None.” The teacher asks why. “They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot.” The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher “3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?” The teacher says “The one sucking it.” The boy says “No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think.”


A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”

She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”

The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”

The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”

“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”

The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”

Big Boss Tom
in Cow

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence

Udder destruction

in Puns

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.

Landon Folkerts
in Puns

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

USSR Soldier
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin wall

in Puns

Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.

in Little Johnny

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon a old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad shaking his head. He walked up to the the old farmer and asked him what’s wrong. The Old Farmer said, " my mule, he just won’t do nothing, he don’t work any more, always looking sad, barely eat, just sad." Little Johnny said, “can I go talk him?” “Sure, The Old Farmer said, he’s back in the barn.” Little Johnny went back in the barn, seen the mule just sad, and sighing… A few minutes laters, Little Johnny came out and said, “You’re mule fixed.” The Old Farmer ran in, and seen the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing… “Thank you, thank you,” The Old Farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way… Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon The Old Farmer again, looking sad… “What’s the matter?” Little Johnny asked… “It’s my mule again, ever since you talked him he won’t do nothing, he won’t work, just laughing all day, what did you say?” “Can I go in and talk to him again?” Little Johnny asked. “Sure,” said The Old Farmer, “he’s back in the barn.” Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. “Your mule fixed sir.” The Old Farmer went in seen the mule ‘Crying’ crying really hard. The Old Farmer came running out of the barn, “Hey boy! What did you say to my mule, one day he’s sad, then laughing, now he’s crying, just what did you say to my mule?” Little Johnny smiled and answered, “We’ll the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his, this time I showed it to him”

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.


fence 1 - was thinking and fence 2 - said are you still on the fence about runing away. Fence 1- said yeah i was thinking of running one the RAILROAD

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

Aka Jokes
in Cow

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted🐄

Cecil M

The inmates are yelling 12…12…12… in the courtyard. A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12…12…12… so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye. Moments later they start chanting 13…13…13…


Why did the Lego cross the road he was on the wrong blockl

in Puns

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

in Vegetable

Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

in Cow

Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

A: Udderly destroyed

in Puns

Why did the first fence hated the other fence? The second fence used some of-fensive language.