Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."