Sex jokes

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

Comments of Gwen in her bra!

Jordan Jadoke: Wow such a good looking kid!

Heo: Dude stop! Who the hell got this!

prince/mr tallie: Hey stop!

YOU: Sexy sexy sexxy! How much does she cost!

Kenya Bailey: NOTHING SHE IS NOT A SEX SLAVE SHE IS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck u Kenya: SHUT UP!

Big Ideas: Do u think I hav a chance with her? Cause if then SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kariah: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mariah: U GUYS EXPECT PRINCE, HEO, AND KENYA ARE GOOD PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT CHILD MOLESTERS!!!!!!!!!!

Hot: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Fring: I want to take u home all to my self!

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Knock, knock.

*takes out penis*

Who is there?

Butthole 😎

Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

Masochists and sadists are made for each other.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Getting ready for gangbang.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"