Sex jokes

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Getting ready for gangbang.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Masochists and sadists are made for each other.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?

Marriage.

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?