Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
Sex Jokes
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
What do gay horses eat?
Horse dick.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
