Sex jokes
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
Memes
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao?
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.