Stoner jokes
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
