Sex jokes
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.