Sex jokes
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.