Sex jokes
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
F*ck my ass.
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Yes, sir.
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.
Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.