Say jokes
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bartender here?"
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one!"
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? "Stop it! It hertz so much!"
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."