Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
Roman Jokes
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
