Roman jokes
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
This is in a book I’m reading
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?
Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?