Drunk Deception

A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.

The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"

The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."

The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."

So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"

The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."

The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.

"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.

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Explanation

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Explain Bear

Listen up, buttercup. This dude got hammered and yacked all over himself. Bartender gives him a pro tip to avoid the wife's wrath. He tries to play it cool, but the wife finds more cash than expected, and the dude has to lie even more to cover his tracks. Classic case of digging yourself into a deeper hole, which, based on your submission, is something you seem to be pretty familiar with.

Comments (2)

You quite literally copied someone just replaced the pounds sign with a dollar sign. Get your own fucking jokes, instead of being an unoriginal, annoying twat.