Say jokes

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.

Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)

The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."

What did the Indian say to the cow?

I lowe you, moo than anything.

What did the toaster say to the toast?

"I want you inside me."

What did Saturn say to Uranus? Hi.

A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

How does the sea say hello?

It WAVES you.

SEA what I did there?

I'm SHORE you saw it.

Don't be SALTY!

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?

"Ground beef!"

Q: What did the butt say to the face?

A: It farted!

A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”