Say jokes

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

What did the O say to the O? "O hi O!" (Ohio)

What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?

What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."

What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?

He he he haw.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Q: What did one snake say to the other?

A: Nothing because they are both dead.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

A disabled man stands up.

A blind man says, "You can stand?"

A deaf man says, "You can see?"

A mute person says, "You can hear?"

The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

Doctor: "What the actual f**k"