Say jokes

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?

Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."

What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?

"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:

"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

What did Steven Hawking say?

Nothing.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

You will never see a redneck opposing a war.

He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.