Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
i gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer
Where do pedofiles do when they wake up
Turn on the child safety lock on the car
what dose a orphan call a family photo a sefey
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
what were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask"
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
I'm in school shooting. #USA
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures? Because they hate their lives and want to die.
