Safety jokes
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
I'd rate the pilot a 9/11.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Why drink water and not bleach?
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?