Occupation

Occupation Jokes

Orphan

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

Waiter

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

Priest

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

    The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

    Butcher

    *on a date*

    me - "I get to work with animals all day."

    her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

    me - "I'm a butcher."

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  • German

    A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."

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  • Piano

    What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

    A flat miner.

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  • Sign

    I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

    Preschool

    In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

    Lawyer

    What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

    They both look good hanging from a tree.

    Butcher

    FIRST DATE

    Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."

    Dad

    I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

    But when I got home, all the signs were there.