The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
why did the hooker quit her job?
she had a nut allergy
what do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common
they're both hookers
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Why do Orphans become Hookers? They can call someone daddy.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
