Safety jokes
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
The S in America stands for safe.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.