Safety jokes
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!