Someone threatened to break into my house but I am in a wheelchair, I said sure and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
What problems might a blind child run into A wall
Q:Why did the baby cross the road?
A:it wasn't in its car seat
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling so I put a car-pit over it
why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire? Cuz he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
whats the difference between a trampoline and a child
you take ur shoes of before jumping on the trampoline
Why do an emos parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut them selves
Why do I carry pepper spray? JUST IN CASE OF AS-SAULT.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
