Role jokes

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

Probably top.

Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.

A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?

"Probably the dishes."

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"

I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

What role does a leper play in the theater?

Voldemort!