Theater jokes
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
All this Little Shop of Horrors merchandise and I still want to see more.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.