Role jokes

Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?

Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.

Women are only for sex!

They are good for cooking and sex!

Nothing but those things.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

What sayd the man to the woman??

Go to the kitchen lol.

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.