What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
