Reproduction jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
I once gave birth to 3 children.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"