Reproduction jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.

Children in the dark make mistakes.

Mistakes in the dark make children.

What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

Sex is like math.

Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.

Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?

A: An egg gets laid.

If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?

Why can't orphans have babies?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill,

And now there's little Frankey.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.