Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
