Reproduction jokes
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.