Reproduction jokes
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.