Fertility jokes

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows.

What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?

Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!

What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.