My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Official orgasm donor.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
