Reproduction jokes

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

Why do people hate abortion jokes?

It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill,

And now there's little Frankey.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"

Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."

"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"

Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.

Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?

Jokers are all about the delivery.

Except abortion jokes...

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?

Her miscarriage.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?

Only one of them is scared.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.