Offspring jokes
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Mama milky?
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.