Offspring jokes
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Kids?
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.