Offspring jokes

Why can't two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated.

Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?

Because she loves raisin kids.

What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

Why can't Asians make a white baby?

Cause two wongs don't make a white.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.

Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."

Woman: "What's the bad news?"

Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"

Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"

Dr: "It's dead!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

Kids?

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.