Reproduction jokes
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.