I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
