Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Official orgasm donor.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
