Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Reproduction Jokes
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.