Reproduction jokes
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.