Reproduction jokes

I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows.

Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

They both have cum in it.

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?

You abort it.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Why are dogs born with balls?

They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.

Official orgasm donor.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

"She's gonna blow!"

What [is] another name for an abortion?

Canceling your delivery.

What's another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.