Reproduction jokes
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!