Reproduction jokes
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
Official orgasm donor.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.