Relationship jokes
Gwen, can we please chat? 😊
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
Dear prince,
Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!
P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.
I love you, Hebrew John.
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.