Relationship jokes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!
Love you a million times more!
Your nan's gay.
Why do I have a fat mom?
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳
inside 🚹 🚹 restroom
equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside
glory 🕳