Relationship jokes
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.