Relationship jokes
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Memes
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
My dad left me.
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Mom
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Your momma!